Mary Gorham Malia
Chief Officer of Love and Founder, gaygirldatingcoach.com
It's a new year. Again. It just keeps happening and there is no stopping it. Days tick by and turn into weeks, months and years and still you dream.
I know, you're busy doing life. You're trapped in saying, "I'll get to it later." There is NO later, there is only NOW.
And as Dr. Phil would say, "How is that working for you?" That waiting until later, putting it off, denying that you want it -- your dream, that is.
And what is your dream?
A dream of love, an amazing lesbian relationship, that job or a new place to live? Your dream of that big adventure or romantic trip? Your dream of dancing under the stars or hiking to the top of that hill? Your dream is for and about your life. No one else is directing your life. When will you start living your dream?
Dreams are lovely and wonderful, the good ones that is. Don't let your dreams turn into a nightmare. The nightmare of never having done a thing about it. The nightmare of regret.
Ask any one who is approaching or in the last stage of life as we know it here on earth. What do they regret? Not having loved more, played more or not having gone after their dreams?
To go after your dreams often requires courage because it means letting go of what you know; letting go of the safety of certainty. Going after your dream means taking chances, perhaps failing and being disappointed. Taking action to make a dream into something real and tangible means you're going to have to do something different with your one wild and precious life.
I've been living out a dream for the last three years. Growing a business that reaches out to the lesbian community to help women live their best lesbian lives, Gay Girl Dating Coach. It's not easy sometimes. I've made more mistakes than I want to remember, but each one is a lesson. I've also had women tell me that their lives have been forever changed. That's the dream coming true.
This fall I launched the Gay Girl Love Tour and I've been on the road doing Love Tour Stops. The Love Tour has visited 5 states so far and there are lots of requests to bring the tour to many places. It's a dream that's become real. Why? I took action. I made decisions, some really hard ones like selling my Miata and buying a van. I've reached out to women around the country for support. Some have showed up in big ways and others haven't. That's how life works.
Walking out this dream so far means I've made mistakes, had failures, had successes and everything in between. I've met lots of amazing women, gone on a few dates myself and seen parts of the country that are beautiful and amazing and other parts that weren't. I've been reminded of how much I love the desert, missed family and friends, laughed and cried.
I've doubted myself and that happens everyday.
I have to reignite my faith every day. Remind myself why I'm doing this -- because I want to change the way gay women date and empower women to create amazing relationships. I want to stir up hope, inspire your dreams and be a partner in your journey. I'm often scared. Yes, for real. Not of strangers but of my dreams.
And then I get up and do it again.
Many days running my own business requires me to stir up a big pot of courage and determination to get stuff done. There is no one giving me a map, I'm doing this with a compass. Navigating my way through a big unknown territory determined to make a difference, even if it's just one woman at a time.
What are you doing to live out your dream?
Instead of New Year's intentions, look at your dream and set some REAL LIVE GOALS to accomplish this week, in the next month and before the year is over. And realize, its the goals you set for each day and each week that really move you forward. It's the small steps that get you there.
Let me say that again. It's the small steps that get you to your dreams. You can decide what a small step is, engineer it, make it happen, do it and then do it again and again. Big leaps are great, but they don't happen very often.
Have you ever navigated with a compass? You determine your direction using the arrow, dial and sometimes the sun. Then you set off, one step at a time. That's the only way you can do it. One step after another, after another and another. You check your direction as you go along but it's still one step at a time. Eventually you get there if you don't quit.
Do you want to finally find love and create your amazing lesbian love affairthis year? Set your compass and then start walking. Do one thing each and every day to move you toward love. That will mean doing something differently from what you have been doing. And it will also mean not quitting when it gets hard or seems to be taking too long.
The magic is in taking small steps each and every day. This is my small step today. Sharing this one small thought with you.
Did it make a difference? For even one woman? Are you ready to do something NOW instead of LATER? Leave me a comment and tell me, what are you going to start doing now to make your dream a reality?
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